Article – Top 5 reasons to buy my new album

Originally written as a feature for the Virgin Music website. They subsequently dropped the article and declined to ever speak to us again.

Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Buy My New Album”

by Benjamin Shaw

1. All art is essentially meaningless

Art is a selfish pastime, dreamt up by bored housewives and fat landowners, and pursued by only the good-looking, self-obsessed children of the home-counties. It means nothing.

My new album is not art. It is a Singer-Songwriter CD.

2. People like stuff

Apart from the social inequality, the casual police brutality, the blatant racism from media, government and law, and the fact that the country is divided so deeply in wealth and opportunity that it drives people to physical fury – apart from all that – if the recent nationwide riots showed us anything, it showed us that PEOPLE LIKE STUFF.

My new album would be a great addition to your stuff collection.

3. Look cool in front of your friends

We all hate our friends, right? Well, here is a perfect chance to belittle your friends and make them feel inadequate. I am a nobody with no success, catchy songs, or any redeeming qualities at all. I am also terrible live. All this is perfect for when asking your friends ‘Do you have the new Benjamin Shaw album?’ ‘No’ they will reply, obviously. Here is your chance to make them feel stupid. Watch as their faces turn red with shame as you tell them how great it is, and how despite having been around forever, he still struggles with even the most rudimentary recording techniques.

10 indie points to you!

4. Smash the system

The system ruins everything doesn’t it? How do we change things? How do we create a more equal society less reliant on idiot consumerism, and with less Tories? By first destroying the monarchy and organised religion? Yes. But buying my new album will definitely help.

5. You shouldn’t

It’s up to you, really.

——————————————-

Buy Benjamin Shaw’s album here .

Read our review of ‘There’s Always Hope, There’s Always Cabernet‘ by Benjamin Shaw here.

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